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It’s spring break week for me, and I’m going to Paris. I will hang out with friends and do some prep work for Paris Sketchbook. Don’t have your seat yet? Get in on the fun here.

I’m looking forward to hosting an apéro dînatoire(1) in my rented apartment. April 28 is Independent Bookstore Day, so we will celebrate with a white elephant book exchange. All this will be a welcome break from the desk. But I’m most eager to practice my French.

In this boost, I share my love of languages and how I keep my learning alive.

To a glorious spring week for you, wherever you are,

Cynthia

(This essay was originally shared as a Boost, my regular boosts sent to subscribers. Get yours first here.

Love of Learning and Languages

I’ve always wanted to learn a lot of languages. Alas, I’m only fluent in French and English. I’ve studied Portuguese, Spanish, and Italian. I’m competent in tourist speak in those languages.

Because I go to France every year, I’ve had the good fortune to keep up my language and culture studies. In France, people tell me, “Mais vous parlez très bien le français!”(2) It’s fun to surprise people with my fluency, and even more, that no one ever guesses that I am American.

When I lived in Lisbon, I took Portuguese classes. But it didn’t stick. Last summer, I dove back in, using the great app Practice Portuguese. Like a miracle, I was able to have conversations everywhere in Portuguese. Sure, it was rudimentary and probably awfully incorrect. But people were patient with me and I believe that most appreciated the effort.

I never considered buffing up my French. Why would I? I am fluent. I learn more every time I speak to a French person. But when I came home last year, I wanted to go further. I know I make mistakes. I know I can be better. Why not have French in my life more than just on my trips?

To be clear, my desire to speak better French isn’t from a drive for perfectionism or even excellence. It’s just pure fun to learn. It’s a blast to speak French – it’s a magic trick that I only get to pull out when I am in France.

Studying French and Portuguese now

So I joined the Alliance Française. I hosted a booth to sell my books at their Holiday Market. But I haven’t taken classes or attended events in the way I had hoped.

Listening to podcasts – Little Slow Talk in French and Les Pieds Sur Terre – give me the chance to hear it and learn more. But speaking – that’s where I need practice.

I discovered italki. This website hosts tutors in many languages. I connected with Mathilde, a young Frenchwoman who lives in Portugal. At an initial meeting, we clicked. Now we meet weekly to discuss a podcast episode or just chat about life.

This is so much fun! Getting practice with moving my mouth’s muscles in French makes a huge difference. I am learning more vocabulary and also getting a sense of my real fluency and blind spots.

This summer, I will delve back into Practice Portuguese and work with a tutor on italki. I’ll be back in Portugal to go on an art retreat, and I will have the occasion to practice. I can’t wait!

If you have a language that’s getting rusty in a closet, italki is a great way to connect with a native speaker and get practice. It’s surprisingly affordable, and the italki platform is easy to use.

Things like this – making little efforts to keep a passion alive – make my life better in ways that are hard to describe. I’m not better-looking. I don’t make more money from this learning. But the best hobbies are just for us, replenishing our joie de vivre(3) and sense of purpose.

1 apéro dînatoire = In France, an apéro is a cocktail party with light snacks like nuts and chips. An apéro dînatoire has more food, similar to tapas.

2 “But you speak French very well!”

3 joy of living

I had so much to say about spring cleaning and decluttering that I thought it would be a four-part series. But no. My notion of ‘Tiny Tidying’ needed to be a tiny article too.

You may have heard me describe myself as the ‘lower the bar’ coach. Often, we expect too much from ourselves, and this gets in the way of even getting started. Writing a book is a massive project. Producing a body of artwork for sale has many, complex components. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of it at any phase of the process – and this is the same for keeping our spaces clean and clear.

If you would love a new approach to spring cleaning and decluttering, Tiny Tidying may be for you.

These ideas are based on my experience. Try them, see what works for you. Adopt and adapt.

Why bother decluttering?

Why not just live with dust and clutter? My surroundings have a big impact on my well-being.

Notice the impact of dirt or clutter. How does dust everywhere contribute to who you are and what you want? For me, the dust contributes to dry eyes and a feeling of staleness. It detracts from my value of beauty. It degrades my well-being and sense of love.

In coaching lingo, things that bother us but stick around are called ‘tolerations’. I tolerated an over-full, cluttered utensil drawer. I tolerated a giant, messy stack of printed recipes. I tolerated an out-of-control lid drawer. Every time I pass a dusty surface, I’m ‘pinged’ internally to do something. Talk about distracting!

Tidying, cleaning, and decluttering makes a perceptible difference. Notice what shifts in your space and in you. I feel freedom, peace, and space for creating.

What gets in the way of decluttering?

Cleaning is hard (for me) because I would rather do other things. Decluttering is hard because of all the decisions we have to make. Choose one deciding factor to guide you. Consider that ones you have used in the past may be outdated. (This might be useful someday. I may fit into this again. This might be valuable.)

Deciding factors could include: Have I used this in the last 5 years? How much do I really care about this? Does ‘keep it just in case’ really serve me now?

Our identity is closely connected with our belongings. Clearing things out causes us to face who we were, who we are now, and who we want to be. Be kind when clearing away ‘stuff’.

Our stuff reveals us. What am I not able or willing to let go of? For me, I cannot let go of hundreds of journals and sketchbooks. I admire those who burn or destroy old journals. I can’t do it yet, and maybe never.

How to Tiny Tidy

Tiny tidying = do one small thing, 5-15 minutes max.

Tiny = low bar, low expectations, low pain, low resistance. Dare you make it easy?

My favorite tiny tidying = cleaning the bathroom one piece at a time. Mirror, vanity, floor, toilet, all in tiny increments.

Tiny tidying can be done throughout the day when you need a break from sitting at the computer. Or one tiny tidy after you get home from work or at any break point in the day.

Stop as soon as you feel tired, overwhelmed, or ‘done’. Make a plan to finish if you need to go back to it.

What comes up for you when you read about Tiny Tidying?

I bet there are objections and resistance. That’s okay. Try one tiny thing and see what happens for you.

There’s a particular kind of frustration that comes with being a high-functioning person who can’t figure out why they’re stuck.

You’ve read the books. Done the therapy. Built the meditation practice. You’ve journaled, set intentions, and attended retreats. You can articulate your patterns with impressive clarity. You know what’s holding you back. You can name it in a sentence. And despite this cognitive awareness, it still persists.

I know the frustration that being stuck brings to our daily lives. Irritation, anxiety, and darker emotions like rage or jealousy mar an otherwise wonderful life. 

I spent 26 years coaching brilliant, accomplished people — writers, executives, artists, entrepreneurs — and I watched this pattern more times than I can count. Someone would arrive with real self-awareness. They’d done genuine inner work. And yet the same fear, hesitation, and self-sabotage would keep cycling back.

For a long time, I thought the answer was more of the same habit formation work: deeper conversation, better strategies, stronger accountability. These helped. But they took a long time. And for some clients, the deepest patterns simply would not shift.

But here’s the big surprise. The belief that’s driving your unhappiness is rarely the one you can articulate. The one you can name — “I’m afraid of failure” or “I don’t feel good enough” — is usually the surface expression of something older and quieter. Something installed so early that it doesn’t even feel like a belief. It feels like reality.

It’s the belief underneath the belief. And it lives in your subconscious mind, which was likely programmed before you were seven years old and controls roughly 95% of your behavior.

This is why willpower fails. This is why affirmations fade. This is why you can understand your pattern perfectly and still be run by it. You’re trying to update a program using a part of your mind that doesn’t have editing access.

When I discovered Quantum Energy Coaching, this was the piece that clicked. QEC works to replace limiting beliefs in the subconscious. Not reframe them. Replace them. With new beliefs that actually reflect your authentic self.

I experienced this myself after publishing my second novel, during a period of real struggle. In five sessions, beliefs I’d carried for decades dissolved. No homework or effort outside of the QEC sessions was required. They were simply no longer there, replaced by something clearer and truer. The relief was immediate. The change has held.

If you’re someone who has done the work and you still feel a persistent anxiety and unease, consider the possibility that you’re not doing anything wrong. You’ve simply been working at the wrong level.

The belief underneath is reachable. And once it shifts, everything above it shifts too.

If you’d like to explore whether QEC is right for your situation, I offer a free 30-minute discovery call.

Schedule Appointment

As someone with a lot of interests, I was afraid when I was young that I would be perceived as ‘flaky’ or ‘all over the place’. Maybe that’s why marking significant milestones is important to me. Doing something consistently for a long time means that I am committed beyond the fun part, engaged and passionate, and reliable. Far from flaky!

My first novel took 12 years to write. My coaching practice has been thriving since 1999. And this month marks 30 years of practicing yoga.

Those three practices – writing, coaching, and yoga – go well together. They require humility and constant learning. Just when conscious competence is reached, there’s a new skill to learn. But that’s okay. The passion I have for these disciplines will carry me to my grave.

It’s hard for me to write about yoga and its effects on me. I’ve written articles for Yoga Journal, and I wrote an essay about how yoga helped me during my leadership training. I wanted to write something for you enumerating 30 things yoga has given me, something beyond the clichés like ‘flexibility’.

May you see yourself in this list of benefits yoga has given me. May the things you are dedicated to give you lots to work with and grow from.

This is a long essay, but 30 years is a long time. It will take much less time to read than all the hours I spent in yoga studios, 3-5 hours per week, for 30 years.

30 gifts from 30 years on the mat

1. I recognized right away that yoga would be a lifetime practice, shoring up my well-being and longevity.
2. There’s always someone ‘better’ or ‘worse’ (more skilled) than you. So what? With yoga, there’s no competition; instead, a clear sense of we are all in this together.
3. All hail the beginner! I love seeing someone obviously new to yoga. The sweat, the struggle – to me, these people are heroic and courageous, trying something new. I want to be that brave.
4. I am open to new experiences – silent disco yoga in Golden Gate Park – yes! But naked yoga, goat yoga or yoga in the hot sun – no thank you. Okay, maybe a little nakedness and sun in Portugal:

   

5. It’s not about looking good. Like most arenas in life, no one is paying attention to you anyway, and it’s not because you’re old. It’s because everyone is up in their own head about their own stuff.
6. Let the body lead. The body is always in charge. Actually, jet lag taught me this, but yoga affirms it. This may be the most important thing to remember in life, hands down.
7. Your body can bear more intensity than you think. It took a couple decades, but I came to like the pressure of holding chair pose for longer than 30 seconds. This translates off the mat, where I am more able to sustain discomfort in writing, business, and life.
8. But forcing the body is always a bad idea. I remember how sore I was from my first class – stretching and pushing too much! Never push. Never force.
9. Our minds love to limit us. Our bodies can do so much more than we think.
10. Yoga is not about winning, but sometimes a challenge can reveal our limitlessness. I learned this in a silly yoga competition in 2010 where I pulled off an unbelievable yoga feat.

    

11. The nervous system needs its own regular practice. I’m beyond thrilled that restorative and yin classes are now packed with people ready to regulate their nervous systems.
12. Even after a break from travel or illness, it’s easy to get back into the flow. No muss, no fuss; after a break, just get back to it. This applies to writing.
13. Sometimes I don’t ‘feel like’ going, but I am always glad I showed up for yoga.
14. Practicing yoga while traveling is fun, refreshing, and a way to connect with people. Thanks to the studios in Lisbon, New York, London, San Francisco, Amsterdam, Lancaster, and other places I’ve laid down my mat.
15. Magic is possible! You can indeed meet your future spouse at yoga, even when most of the other students are yoga twigs.
16. Not judging the playlist or the teacher is the yoga.
17. Every yoga class offers a clean slate, just like every day.

    

18. Yoga has not made me skinny. It has made me strong, flexible and confident.
19. A consistent yoga practice is a stealth asset for any physical activity such as dancing, rock climbing or long-distance walking.
20. There’s no age gate on yoga nor on most things in life. The 80-somethings who practice at my studio assure me it’s possible.
21. From yoga I have learned how much I like rigor and challenge. This has helped me in writing, relationships, and work.
22. There’s great peace in being in a room with other people and not having to chat.
23. And, I am delighted that I have made good friends in yoga class.
24. It’s never what you look like; it’s how you feel.
25. Even in a class, we have to follow our body’s wisdom. This is what I teach my clients – develop your own inner compass.
26. Taking a break is almost always helpful for creativity. Insights always, always come during yoga, when I am away from screens and work.
27. I’m not super mellow, Zen or some kind of perfect person from all the yoga. But people often say they like my ‘energy’. A result of yoga?
28. Lots of cross-lateral poses in yoga have added to my whole-brain health. I believe this has helped me be more curious and also more coordinated both physically and mentally. We use cross-lateral movements in my QEC coaching to help the brain absorb new information.
29. No other physical practice I have done feels like a physical, mental and emotional cleansing like yoga does.
30. It’s always right to acknowledge our lineage. Thanks to the boyfriend yogi who got me into yoga. Thanks to Richard Hittleman’s 28 Days of Yoga book that got me started. Thanks to Gove belly-dancer yoga teacher, Brenna Hatami, Richard Freeman and all the teachers at the Yoga Workshop, Kindness, Samadhi, my teacher Carlos in Lisbon, the teachers in all the cities I have practiced in, and their teachers too. And anyone I have forgotten. You are each in me when I show up to the mat.

What have you been committed to forever that you have benefited greatly from? I’d love to hear in a comment below. 

Jane Fonda in Five Acts

Ever since I saw the documentary about Jane Fonda’s life, I have had new respect for her.

Jane Fonda in Five Acts (documentary, 2018 by Susan Lacy) blew me away. It’s a bit long, but thankfully so is the life of Jane Fonda. I’m impressed by how many different experiences she has had. Sure, many of them were attached to rich and powerful men. But Jane has been her own dynamic force in the world since she became an activist in the 60s. After I saw it, I couldn’t stop thinking about how we can have wildly different chapters in our lives, and how Jane gives me permission to speak up and take a stand for my values.

Last week, Jane was on one of my favorite podcasts, ON with Kara Swisher. I’d just been writing this Boost and the next morning I got to listen to their conversation, How to Turn Rage into Hope. It felt like a fun synchronicity.

If you want to see more Jane Fonda, check out the French film All Together (2011 Stéphane Robelin) In French it’s et si on vivait tous ensemble. I watched this entire movie some years ago and didn’t realize it was Jane (speaking French!) until the end.

GREAT movie about a group of friends – septegenarians – who decide to take their lives into their own hands and move in together.

Other great women you should know

Speaking of amazing American women speaking French, you must see A Private Life with Jodie Foster.(2026 Rebecca Zlotowski) In French, it’s une vie privée. I loved this movie so much. Great in so many ways, and I adore anything featuring a therapist. Give me a French psychological drama any day, and I will be happy.

Tami Palmer and I have been internet friends for a while now. She writes novels and leads writing retreats, and now she’s launched a podcast, The Intention Podcast with Tami Palmer. I was honored to be her first guest, where we talked about living a creative life, Big Magic, and the spiritual aspects of creativity.

Helen Hiebert is a fascinating Colorado paper artist and teacher. Her newsletter, The Sunday Paper, is full of interesting things Helen is doing in the world of art made with paper. Her new book, Weaving with Paper, features 30 paper weaving projects.

The book also includes insights from artists on maintaining a daily practice. I contributed to this with my counterintuitive advice (pages 62 and 69).

There’s a new magazine by Rachel Allen and Solveig Petch, The Bigger Picture. The first edition – a lovely paperback – theme is Thinking Bigger. What a gorgeous magazine featuring people doing what they love, and doing it big! I am honored to have been featured in the inaugural edition.

Have you ever done an audit on the things you consume? And the resources you devote to what you consume – time, money, etc?

I think about this a lot, and admit to being somewhat unconscious about my consuming. I feel sometimes a bit obsessive around books, movies, TV shows and podcasts. I am a culture junkie, and I love being connected to the world through the things people create.

And sometimes it’s just too much. How to know what’s too much?

Many of my coaching sessions revolve around how my clients spend their time and resources. Writing a book or starting a business takes a lot of energy. Most of us are already maxed out, so something has to go.

If you made a list of all the things you consume, including mindless scrolling online, where might you find time/energy/space for your own projects?

Something came up last week that forced this issue for me, and I am excited to share it with you.

I follow Scott Galloway, a professor and author whose Pivot podcast with Kara Swisher always informs me and makes me feel more human.

Scott has launched Resist and Unsubscribe, a simple yet powerful Economic Strike  that gives us a way to take a stand. Scott believes – and I am with him – that in the US the thing that has the most power is our ability to decide where we spend our money. Resist and Unsubscribe gives us a way to say no to the billionaires who are driving a dehumanization on a mass scale.

Resist and Unsubscribe is also a stand against companies that are directly funding ICE efforts. The website is here, including links with instructions for how to unsubscribe.

This helps immediately

The impact of unsubscribing can reveal things. How much are we spending, perhaps on things we don’t use or want? How the spending we have perhaps unconsciously continued actually does not reflect our values and how we want to live. What would we be doing with our precious resources of time and money if they were not going to billionaires who don’t even respect us?

Steve is going to work in the mountains today. “I’m going to end it today,” I told him.

“What?”

“I’m going to pull the plug.”

“On what?”

I pause. Saying it means I have to actually do it.

“Cancelling Netflix.”

I have already unsubscribed from most of the subscriptions Scott mentions. The hardest for me is Netflix.

Since 2020, I have been a couch potato in the evenings. It’s time to relax and unwind with Steve. If we aren’t doing that, will we lose some connection while we are in our separate spaces? I would like to be in my studio some evenings, but my time with Steve is precious and I want to have as much of it as I can.

I spoke with a client yesterday who has the same relationship with Netflix. But she was able to pull away and devote more time to reading. Yes! I thought. I have all these books I want to read NOW:

If I am honest, my relationship with Netflix has been 50/50. The endless scrolling to find something we want to watch is draining.

What I really want to watch is Ken Burns’ American Revolution show. We’ve seen a couple of episodes and I have learned so much. And the artwork is stunning! No photos from that era, so it’s mostly paintings used to depict events.

Thank you for being you, for being with me in this creative adventure, and for helping me stay honest. I’m going right now to unsubscribe from Netflix and subscribe to PBS.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Share what you’re unsubscribing from below.